Alameda’s Wild Turkeys Know Their Place And Own It — Whether Or Not It’s Actually Ours
Just How Does One ‘Light Up’ And Pull Over A Turkey Anyway?
Text and photos by Larry Freeman
Alameda’s native Turkeys, presumptuous fowl who lay claim to all yards. parks and streets in town at whim, evoke more fondness than frustration around town.
We ogle and gee-gaw as they gobble and stroll about, through one yard or another, to perch or nest in a tree or on a rooftop, pace the pavement and just generally do their thing in slo-mo.
On the not so amusing side of the equation is the fact that many a driver has had to contend with these endearing, yet oh so agonizingly lackadaisical residents as they slow strut their way off and on to streets, heedless of the roadway lines that tend to confine and guide most folks behind the wheel.
This hen keeps it in between the lines, but not for long as the second photo shows. Joined by a Tom, the procession goes on in a caprcious game of follow the leader to go on to….. well, wherever their next Turkey brained whim guides them.
For those caged in the metal confines of a car, though, things are much more in between the lines.
Drivers slow, stop, honk, gape or try to wend their way around the heedless, road-bourne birds, even as pedestrians, bicyclists and other vehicles are all too often at greater risk from car and driver.
The schism gives rise to a strange, split personality state of mind when it comes to vehicular intimidation, indifference or injury of fellow humans.
“Nope, not gonna’ hit that there Turkey Clyde, but get the hee-hay outta’ my way ya gol’ dern dufus kid in the crosswalk….”
While APD has full authority to cite motor vehicle operators for not complying with the rules of the road, the town’s feathered critters are above and beyond the reach of the citation book, probably reckoning –with full Meleagris intuition at work– that only nature’s law governs them.
On a nominally busy Sunday morning this month along Fernside Blvd., two Alameda Motorcycle Traffic Officers handed out citations as though Halloween candy to flying and flippant motorists, even as the well grounded Turkeys did their turf thing.
While pulling over cars usually results in an eventual maneuver to the right side of the street, a halt, and then a bit of face to face between officer and occupant of the offending car, that goes straight out the window and into the street when it comes to Turkey time.
Just how does one ‘light up’ and pull over a Turkey anyway?
Not even the motorcycle’s blazing blue and red lights, colors of a typical Tom’s wattle (the colorful, bumpy skin like beard below the beak) produced either an attractive or repulsive effect.
The photo below shows the tactical changes one officer, Sgt. Vreeland, used to try and shepherd the insouciant birds to get off the street and out of harm’s way.
Vreeland made the first attempt to clear the pavement from a trio of Toms, –temporarily separated from the doting hens they were trying to coax for all things Turkey– using his lights, horn and mass of bike to try and compel them off the roadway.
“I don’t want to see them to get hit,” he remarked compassionately.
Care and public safety of the fowl notwithstanding, they didn’t pull over, move to the sidewalk or even seem to give a gurgle, flying or otherwise, remaining unflappable to the last.
The officer left to deal with more wayward human drivers and only moments later the group plodded back to their chosen path of random circumnavigation (reminiscent of people at the early morning motel breakfast buffet)
Soon enough, his partner in the operation, in the midst of pulling over yet one more out of line driver, had to wend his way through the group, back at ground zero, before making his traffic stop.
The moral of the story need not be carved in stone nor platter, for ‘tis the way in this one small niche of the world.
And the Turkeys, well, they just do their bit of holding fast their inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of bird brained happiness “to which the Laws Of Nature and Nature’s God entitle them,” to draw upon a bit of guiding principle from The Declaration Of Independence as humankind’s Fourth Of July approaches.
PHOTOS TELL THE TALE
